The Taste Of Friendship
by Joveus Molai
Summary: Patchouli doesn't show up to Remilia's birthday party. But why? And how will Remilia react?


It should have been perfect.

Indeed, it was perfect—almost. Sakuya had outdone herself this time, in honor of her mistress's birthday celebration. The food was delectable, the decorations sublime, the band a splendid choice. For once, the fairy maids worked diligently at their duties, and the gate guard had kept out the riff-raff. The guests were having an excellent time, she could tell, and half of their time was spent marveling at the party instead of enjoying it.

But there was one thing missing. One single little thing, which soured everything else.

"Sakuya," said Remilia Scarlet as she kept up her false smile, continuing to play the gracious host. The eternally scarlet young moon, mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, lounged at the head of a great marble table she'd set out for the occasion. The silver-haired maid bent low, placing her ear next to her mistress's mouth.

"Sakuya," muttered Remilia. "Why isn't Patchouli here yet?"

If the chief maid were anyone else, she might have swallowed nervously, casting glances this way and that, perhaps wring her hands. But Sakuya Izayoi was not called Perfect and Elegant for nothing.

"Mistress," said the maid, as she pretended to busy herself adding more food to Remilia's plate, "As I said before, Madame Patchouli is currently preoccupied with other matters. She said that she would join the party as soon as possible, and in the event she misses it to wish you a most wonderful birthday—"

"Yes, yes," hissed Remilia. The fake smile never left her face, but the silvered spoon in her hand creaked in her grip. A nearby guest gave her an odd look. "But _why_ isn't she here?"

The maid shook her head, smoothly replacing the dented spoon with another. "She did not say, mistress, only that it was a project of utmost importance."

A sigh escaped Remilia's lips as she waved her maid away. A part of her cursed Patchouli's skewed priorities, muttering how it was so like the magician to value a silly project over the single most important day of the year: her birthday. But another part doubted the former. Surely, it argued, surely her dearest friend wouldn't abandon her on her own birthday. Not like this. Not to her best friend.

_"A few more hours,"_ thought Remilia as she swirled a glass of blood-red wine in her hand. _"Just a few more hours, and she'll be here."_ For now, she amused herself by coming up with snide remarks she'd say to her tardy friend when she finally joined the celebrations.

_"'About time you showed up'? No, too bland. 'Oh, my dear friend Patchouli, did you flood the Library again?' Hmm, that's laying it on too thick. How about..."_

As the hours passed, irritation became worry. Worry then became paranoia, and from paranoia came rage.

The food had been set aside by then, making way for Gensokyo's favorite party activity: drinking. The guests cheered as the maids brought out aged sake and grape wine. But at the head of the table, Remilia glowered at everything and nothing.

A person on her left—Yuuka Kazami—noticed her seething. "Are you alright?" asked the flower youkai.

"It's nothing," snapped Remilia. She continued to loudly drum her fingers on the table. Yuuka raised an eyebrow and continued drinking.

_"What is she doing?"_ thought Remilia. She stopped drumming her fingers and closed them tightly into a fist, as though she were choking the life out of someone. _"Where is that stupid shut-in and why isn't she here?"_

Across the table, the guests let out a roar. Fujiwara no Mokou and Kaguya Houraisan had just started a drinking contest, apparently, and the guests were cheering their favorite contestant on. Remilia wanted to throw her glass at them, to get them to shut up and leave her to stew in her anger in silence.

"_Sakuya,_" growled Remilia as she turned to her maid. The maid merely shook her head in reply.

[i]"She'll pay for this."[/i] The glass in her hand groaned in protest as her grip on it tightened. Spiderweb-cracks appeared its surface. _"After this is over I will go down there myself and burn every single one of her worthless books and make her watch, I swear..."_

* * *

The guests around her were beginning to take notice now. The squeal of tortured glass could be heard over the merrymaking and carousing. They shot each other glances, muttering amongst themselves and pointing at the furious vampire.

"Is...is she alright?"

"What's got _her_ panties in a twist?"

"...Youmu, take cover."

"Huh? Milady, what are you talking about—"

Down the table, the immortals' drinking contest was heating up. They were on the sixth cup of sake, and Kaguya was starting to sway a little. Sensing weakness, Mokou loudly and roundly lambasted her opponent, crowing that a fairy could outdrink the pampered princess. It must have struck a nerve, as Kaguya responded by tossing her cup to the side in a rage.

As luck would have it, the cup happened to fly straight at Remilia's face.

Guests later claimed that the cup seemed to move in slow motion, spinning end over end as it flew down the table, spraying droplets of alcohol as centrifugal force flung the remnants of drink away. It was remarkable, they said, how it flew right for the vampire's nose.

When the cup finally hit its target, something broke, and it was not the cup.

Remilia gave the chinaware one long look before her turning her gaze to the stock-silent guests.

"Get out."

Some blinked in surprise or to clear away the heady effects of the wine. Others looked around in confusion, unsure as to what to do.

"Mistress..." said Sakuya as she stepped forward. But it was far too late for damage control.

"I said, get. Out."

They responded with questions, requests for clarification, even protests. "Come on, Remilia, we've only just started—"

"I SAID GET OUT!"

She stood up, so abruptly that her chair went flying backwards. Before it could land, she slammed a fist down on the exquisite marble table, splitting the whole thing in half with a resounding *CRACK*. Cries of shock quickly turned to moans of outrage as guests were splattered with snacks and spilled alcohol.

"GET OUT!" Remilia screamed. "ALL OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Some of those present—minor youkai, the fairy maids—all but fled in terror, scrambling through the mansion's door. The rest complained about their booze-soaked clothing as they shuffled their way out. Some threw the vampire looks of concern, others threw her curses. She cared for none of them.

Remilia stood there, breathing harshly through clenched teeth, glaring at the disgruntled guests until the last one closed the door behind her.

Silenced reigned for a full minute. Eventually, Remilia Scarlet stalked off without a word.

Sakuya gazed for a moment at her mistress's retreating figure. She wanted to ask if there was anything she could get her, but she knew better.

"Everyone," she said to the few fairy maids still present. Her voice was utterly calm, as though Remilia's outburst had never happened. "Let's get this cleaned up. I want half of you mopping up the floor and the rest of you to pick up the table pieces. Hurry up now, no time for dallying."

As the maids started tidying the ruined dining hall, she made her way around the mansion, stopping time to now and then to hasten to process. It was a good idea, she considered, to let everyone know to stay out of the library for the evening.

After all, it would be terribly inconvenient to have someone messily die tonight.

Remilia stomped her way through her mansion's corridors, leaving deep gouges in the carpet as she went. Every once in a while, she paused to punch a hole in a wall, or grab a painting and smash it into splinters.

_"I'm going to kill her. No, that'd be too easy. I'm going brain her repeatedly with the biggest damn book I can find. Over and over and over again. How dare she, it's the most important day of the year how dare she how dare she—"_

But a part of her, buried under the layers of rage and calculated plots for revenge, wondered one question: why?

What was so important to Patchouli that she didn't come to the party? Remilia had secured a certain bottle of wine for tonight—a particular decades-old vintage from the outside world. Remilia Scarlet, proud as she was, was not one to _beg_ so easily, and it was hard, asking that thrice-damned gap youkai to acquire that particular wine bottle.

A pity—the bottle was likely shattered now, along with the table that held it.

Doubts began to creep into her head as she continued down the winding hallways. She had the sense that they were starting to get...distant of late. They saw each other less and less since about a year ago, when Patchouli helped that black-white thief with some sort of adventure into the Underground Hell—a few weeks after that, the doll magician started to frequently visit the Library, as well. Perhaps...perhaps Patchouli desired the company of fellow magicians more now? After all, though Remilia had dabbled in the arcane arts and could cast a cantrip or two, she was still nowhere near the level needed to hold a conversation with her friend. Perhaps what Patchouli truly wanted was a colleague. _"Something I can't give her,"_ noted Remilia bitterly.

She was struck with a pang of jealousy even as she denied feeling such. _"What, me? Remilia Scarlet, the Eternal Crimson Moon, jealous? How petty, how...mortal. It's beneath me, and if she no longer wants my company then I'm perfectly fine with that."_ A cruel sneer lighted her face._ "In fact, if she wants to be with those other magicians so much, I won't stop her. I'll even have her move out of the mansion. The Library's hers, but the mansion it's in is mine. Yes, that will make her see, that will make her pay..."_

* * *

At last, Remilia reached the entrance to the Library. The great oak doors, intricately carved with runes and warding signs, loomed above her. She stared at the doors for a moment, then kicked them open, breaking them apart with ease.

A figure rushed towards her as she stomped past the ruined door. "Intruder alert! Intrud—huh? Oh, it's you, Mistress Remilia. I thought you were Miss Kirisame for a moment." Through the settling dust, Remilia saw the crimson-haired devil bow low.

"Forgive me, Mistress Remilia," said Koakuma, "but Mistress Patchouli is not be disturbed. I must ask you to—"

"Koakuma," said Remilia in a voice that could have frozen water solid. "Take me to Patchy. Right now."

Koakuma put on her friendliest, most polite smile. "I'm terribly sorry, mistress, but—urk."

The librarian found herself face-to-face with the vampire. Remilia had grabbed Koakuma's collar and yanked her down to head level, her grip like iron and her eyes entirely blood-red. And perhaps it was Koakuma's imagination, but Remilia's fangs seemed doubly sharp tonight.

"Koakuma. Take me to Patchy. Right now. Or I will send you screaming back to Makai with my claws."

Koakuma tried to swallow, but grip on her collar kept that from working. "M-m-mistress, please..." Remilia tossed the librarian aside, sending her sprawling into a bookshelf.

A voice called out from behind a shelf. "There's no need to bully my librarian, Remi. I'm right here."

Remilia turned. A figure dressed in voluminous lilac robes stood before her, a weathered tome in her hand: Patchouli Knowledge, the One-Week Magician, owner of the Library, and Remilia's best friend.

The vampire's eyes narrowed. "Ah. Hello, Patchy."

* * *

"You didn't come to the party".

If Remilia's voice were any flatter, Patchouli could have turned it into a book page. Remilia glared across a circular table at her friend. They were surrounded by piles and piles of tomes, while stories-tall shelves loomed over them.

"Yes," said Patchouli. If she felt afraid or guilty, she did not show either.

"Why."

Patchouli continued to return the glare with her own dispassionate gaze. "I was busy."

"Oh yes," said Remilia, scoffing. "The Unmoving Great Library is too busy to get her scrawny bum out off her chair for the most important day of the year, her friend's birthday. Not even a hello, or a happy birthday wish."

"I'm not that scrawny," said Patchouli, "Sakuya has insisted that I eat at least three square meals a day and she's been quite successful in that rega—"

"Oh shut up," hissed Remilia. "Was it that much to ask, Patchy? To come upstairs just once, one day out of the year? What are you working on, anyway?"

The magician continued to stare for a moment before replying, "I can't say."

"And _why not_?"

"Because it's nothing that concerns you."

"Fine," snarled Remilia. "Whatever, I don't care anymore." She stood up, knocking the chair back. "If your stupid research is that much more important than me, then fine. But I want you and this giant waste of space you call a library out of my mansion. Shack up with Marisa or something, I just want you to get out." She began to walk away.

"...Remi..."

"I'll send Sakuya down here to help you get things packed up. I considered burning all your books to save time, but now I don't care anymore."

"Remi."

She continued, "Should I ship them to the doll-magician's place instead? At least hers is a bit tidier—"

"_Remi._"

"JUST ONE DAY, PATCHY!" Remilia spun around, screaming. She was biting her lower lip, her hands were balled up in fists. Tears threatened to spill down her red, red eyes. "Just one day! One! But you weren't there. Because these," she grabbed a random booked and waved it in front of Patchouli's face, "were so much more important than me." The book made a loud *CLAP* as Remilia tossed it into a pile of its fellows.

Patchouli glanced at the flung book, then back at Remilia. A long moment later, she said,

"Your birthday present."

Remilia blinked. "What?"

A sigh. "I was working on your birthday present. That's why I wasn't at the party. I would have finished it earlier, but I underestimated the undertaking."

"...what..." said Remilia softly, "I...why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise," shrugged Patchouli. "Besides, you're, what, four-hundred and fifty years old now? I didn't think missing one birthday party would be such a deal." Her eyes lowered, in what seemed like regret. "It seems I was mistaken. My apologies."

Silence.

Several seconds later, Remilia spoke.

"What...what is it? The birthday present, I mean."

The magician's eyes brightened. "Well, thanks to the Hakurei Barrier, travel between Gensokyo and the outside world is difficult without certain...provisions. So instead, I...borrowed a portions of land in Makai. By combining Western Elementalism with some Wu Xing theory, I was able to shape the unreality of Makai into something of my liking. A rather clever bit of arcane engineering, if I may be so bold." She snapped her fingers, and a magical portal opened before Remilia.

Remilia's jaw dropped, her eyes bulging. "It's..."

"Indeed. Sinclair's Bay, off the coast of Scotland. Your favorite beach, as I recall. I...I remember you saying you missed the ocean ever since we came to Gensokyo."

"You knew," said Remilia, her voice soft. She stared at the magician.

Patchouli nodded in reply, and turned to look at the portal, her handiwork. "Yes. I had to recruit Marisa and Alice for assistance—which is why they'd been visiting so frequently lately—and I'll miss my copy of _Liber Logaeth_, but—oof." An impact in the small of her back staggered her. She looked down to see Remilia's arms wrapped around her waist.

Patchouli gently placed a hand on her friend's, and glanced over her shoulder. "Remi?"

"I'm sorry, Patchy," said a muffled voice. "And thanks."

"Say it again?" said Patchouli, with a slight smile. "I couldn't hear you."

"I said **I'm sorry**, and **thanks**."

"I still didn't get it. You'll have to repeat—"

"Oh shuddup."

They stood there in the Library, enjoying the sound of each other's laughter.

* * *

Later, Remilia found herself before a black-watered ocean, under a crimson moon. Soft, cold sand flowed around her feet, further cooled by the lapping waves.

"Hmm," said a voice beside her. "The consistency of the sand is a bit off. I'll have to fix this when we get back." Patchouli stood alongside Remilia, gazing thoughtfully at the pale sand.

Remilia made a slight smirk. "Hmm, losing your touch, Patchy? Though I rather like what you did with the moon."

Patchouli snorted in response. "You try crafting the physical laws governing a trillion particles of sand. And thank you."

They watched in silence for a minute, at the fairy maids frolicking in the shallow water, while Flandre went about battling a colossal summoned leviathan in the background. Remilia had decided this was a good opportunity to let the poor girl out for a change.

"Ah, I have something for you too," said Remilia. She clicked her fingers, and Sakuya brought up a pair of wine glasses and a particular bottle.

"1970 Merlot wine?" said Patchouli, blinking. "From the outside? Oh my."

Remilia smiled as the maid poured them a measure each. "I asked the gap hag for a...favor. I thought I broke the bottle earlier at the party, but it somehow survived. Luck, I suppose. Or fate?"

The magician blinked again, and Remilia witnessed a rarity that night: a true, full-blown smile from Patchouli. "Thank you, Remi."

Remilia raised her glass. "To friendship!"

Patchouli raised hers in kind. "To friendship."

It tasted honey-sweet.


End file.
